Lawn Ruck

Okay, look, stop crying, alright? You don’t — okay, just listen:

You gotta mow the lawn anyways, don’t you? So just do it while wearing a backpack with a 25 lb plate weight in it. Or 5 or 10 or whatever, despite my chiseled face and unparalleled intellect I am not a doctor, but you get it. Start low.

So going back, not being a doctor and all — You gotta mow the lawn anyways, right? So just do it while wearing a backpack with a 25 lb plate weight in it. That’s what I’m talkin’ about right there. We’re maintaining the lawn while maintaining ourselves. You couldn’t get more Aristotelian if you crashed your mountain bike into a philosophy convention.

(A sidenote for international friends: A pound is like, like, well, I think a watermelon is like five pounds, so it’s like 1/5th a watermelon.)

Alright so you mow the lawn with that [X] lb backpack, and your back doesn’t hurt at all, so next week comes maybe hit [X]+(2.5 or 5) lb after that, then so on and so forth. We’re gettin’ shredded now, much like the grass itself as it meets the unbridled fury of your freshly-sharpened blade. You’re sharpening, right? Come on now.

I think the US Army limits rucking to 30% body weight, I might have heard that once while like pumpin’ gas. Fellas — always pump gas for your lady. Have some respect for yourselves.

Oh.